Himachal Pradesh Civil Service Exam - Part 1

This post is for all the people who are planning to write Himachal PSC exam and also for those who just want to know how it feels to write HPPSC prelim exam.

Out of sheer joy that I get when I go to Dharamshala and around I decided to write Himachal PSC prelim exam from the same place.

And the place is beautiful. I went there with a cousin of mine, his wife, his son and my sister. I also happen to get an appointment at Men-Tsee-khang - the Tiebtan astrology place. Though I do not believe much in destiny and luck, the curiosity took me there there.

Kamad - My Cousin's Son

But my cousin who is a deep believer of destiny had different plans. He took an unannounced stop at Chintpurni Mata on the way ignoring the fact that I got my appointment with a great difficulty. The place has different kind of a vibe. And in the process I forgot that I have to see the astrologer too. If I have to put my cousins thoughts in words, may be he thought Chintpurni Mata to be a greater astrologer.

We stayed at Bhagsunath. With great difficulty (read my cousin relaxing inside his car and me searching hotel with rain Gods too happy) we got a hotel, the day being a week end. Interestingly people from Punjab have a very bad image in these hills. Reason is simple they create unnecessary noises like hooligans and throw beer bottles here and there. Himachalis, to my liking, are peaceful people. We got a moniker of 'acche wale Punjabi' whilst my cousin still had plenty of his share of alcohol.

Next morning I went on to write my Prelim exam. I chose to go there hitch hiking. I have done that for very long distances also earlier during my travels. What a place it was where I had my exam. The beautiful Himalayas at the back side of the college. A cricket stadium visible from my seat in examination hall with amazing colours painted on it. 2 papers went by. With no feeling at all of clearing or not clearing I came out and we moved back for our home.

The Dharamshala Cricket Stadium

My Examination Hall - Is not that a great place to write any exam?

View from the College where Examination was held - Pic taken during the break.

While on our way my cousin again decided to get drunk, worse get drunk and drive. I stopped him and he refused and even preferred me going in bus. Such is the impact of alcohol! Nevertheless, he is a teetotaller now.

Bholenaath Lord Shiva - Very popular theme among local and tourists as well

Few weeks later to my surprise I cleared my preliminary exam. Unable to believe I checked my roll number thrice. Yea I cleared it. Somehow it happened.

This gave me a major boost to write my CSE-2013 mains exams. I had lot of enthusiasm back.

Well, whether you want to join HPSC or not, whether you feel you will clear it or not , whether you have studied for it or not I highly recommend writing this exam for the freshness it brings to one.

PS: Soon to follow a visual treat and an amazing experience of HPPSC mains. It will be a delight to have a look at those pictures and even the better story. 

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Book Review: Unbreakable by Mangte Chungneijang Mary Kom

Its a great book though a very small one. Magnificent Mary has managed to express the feelings with brevity which otherwise could have taken much more words. It leaves you with the similar thought process as any good book with lot a of motivation would do.This book has the potential to change the outlook of the women in this country, to change the way women are wrongly perceived in India and perhaps in the world. Her medal tally and the awards she has won will surprise anyone who really understands the value associated with them.

Chungneijang had to fight everyone including her family, coaches, Indian government and Milkha Singh (Inspite of this she has a great respect for him) also to reach this stage.

This book will also make one aware of the harsh realities that the people of the North Eastern part of India face and also about the unity in the KOM tribe of the region. I am glad that she talked about using sports as unity factor and for proper integration of the NE part of the country with the mainland.

Cover Page clicked by me
Copyright ownership rests with her Publishers.

The cover page is not as realistic as it should have been. I never expected a boxer's autobiography with a cover page photograph with no sweat or messy hair in it. Though the expression on the face speaks enough of her determination about which she talks a lot in her book.

The autobiography is a very small one merely 155 pages and it took me less than 3 hrs in train to read it. I wish she had given more details about her life with more incidents. I was keen on knowing about her bouts which left an impression on her body and mind which are not detailed in the book. Only judgement that can be made from this observation is that she leaves you wanting to know more about her.

Even Amitabh Bacchan had to put on gloves to meet Mary. ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Inspite of reaching such pinnacle Mary is humble to the core. She is still involved in her daily chores of life. She still washes utensils, she is thankful to her publisher also for publishing a book on her albeit the fact that she well deserved it.

Onler, the guy Mary married. 

                                                                                                                                            She also talks about her very cute love story which continues even after her marriage.  She also loves to talk about her children.This book will be a very happy break for the cricket lovers.

In future I am really looking forward to her Gold at Olympics and see future boxers coming up from her academy in Manipur winning medals for India.

A mixture of lot of feelings this book is a must read for everyone.

The story would be incomplete without the picture of Mary with Prince, her son. 

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A Small Glimpse of my Journey through CSE and the Future Ahead

On 8th December 2013 I wrote the final mains exam I am legally allowed to. General category people must pass this exam within 4 attempts and before the age of 30 years. It was 4th and thus the last attempt for me. Neither I am really bothered by the result of the exam nor I am waiting for the result date as both are not in my hand. This equanimity has come to me as a result of the enlightenment process that I went through while preparing for this exam since 2009.

I did my job to the best of my ability with integrity of my mind, action and words. During the process many others suffered because of me as it was me who was getting enlightened and opening myself to the ocean of the knowledge and not them. I will soon be doing my due on this part as I would have plenty of time after interview.

I am not going into details of the process of the examination which I plan to do soon either through this blog itself or through a book if I get a publisher. I will give out the details whether or not I clear the exam. If I clear some will read and a lot of ignorant people will dismiss my success as luck. And if I don't clear even then I will write sharing what not to do and what to do to go through civil services.

What Next?

I need to brush up my hobbies/areas of interest and work on my mains form for my interview. This I feel is the most interesting part and comes at the rightly placed last stage of the selection process, as only after the rest of the process of the examination one can really enjoy this stage of preparation. During my preparation I was so involved in studies that it took some toll on my health. I am involved into Yoga, Freeletics, and long distance running these days. Its so much fun to run in the fog. I will post the picture of the morning running session soon.

Here is something about my hobbies and areas of interest. 

1) Dispute Resolution
2) Promotion of Secularism
3) Trekking
4) Reading Autobiographies
5) Organising Cultural Programmes

Dispute Resolution
Owing to my law background and having atleast 25% of family somehow associated with the legal field I was bound to do this. I have seen my father and continue to see him solving peoples problems sometimes as for fee and sometimes without fee. This brought in me the sense of justice and the civil service preparation added social angle to it. I am involved into informal dispute resolution. Have solved many disputes (this ain't gasconade but to cite few examples) including marital disputes, saved few marriages, few property disputes etc. My readings of books beyond the curricula have also helped me a lot in this case.

Promotion of Secularism
This is so close to my heart and this developed only after the civil services preparation. What I got to know that people are misinformed about the facts and some people manipulate a lot of others for their vested interests. I tried joining few institutions for this cause but a lot of them are asking for exhorbitant money to join them. So I could not join any one of them. I really wonder how can they spread their idea without people getting involved. Inspired by this very soon I am planning to launch a programme on this aspect depending on the funding. It will be open to all 'Indians' without any joining fees. Under this we will launch a website and regularly send emails, organise meetings, write to newspapers, help people understand the words of Gandhi Ji "...you will realise that there is space for us all."

Trekking
Body produces Adrenaline and in my case my mind controls it through trekking. Though I am very new to trekking but it seems I am having strong affinity to trekking. I have done it only twice and that too only in mountains. Here is a glimpse of my one of my treks. I am planning to do some Alpine style moderate to higher level trekking soon. Keen to join me? Please do get in touch.

Reading Autobiographies
I have always liked reading autobiographies and have read about 31 autobiographies so far. It all started when I was in class VIII. But I really got into it when on the last day of my college one of my professors mentioned the importance of reading autobiographies in the penultimate paragraph of his speech. My favourite so far definitely is My Experiments with Truth by Gandhi Ji.

Organising Cultural Programmes
In collaboration with few people we have here consistently organised Ram Leela since 10 years now. We also organised Lohri festivals and been active in promotion of culture here. Culture unites people and nothing is more important than the unity of the country. In my school I could never be part of the organising committee because a lot of fawning obsequiousness was involved.


If you happen to share any of these hobbies please do get in touch. I would be more than happy to talk about them.

Now before I appear for the interview I will be writing reviews of the books that I will be reading and go for the trek too. I am reading Gandhi Before India by Ramchandra Guha these days.

Before I conclude I am reminded of the question that has been asked to me (hesitantly) by all - what if I don't? My unequivocal reply has been that I have learnt so much in my preparation of civil services that whatever I do I will succeed. Though to keep many shut I say I will do this or that. I do not really know and I do not want to think at this moment. 

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Book Reviews

Here I will be posting links to the reviews of the books that I keep on reading or I have read in past.

• M C Mary Kom's Unbreakable - A review of a must read book.
• Coming Soon - Review of Gandhi BEFORE INDIA by Ramachandra Guha.

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The Destiny of Luck.

It took me exactly 13 days to reconcile myself with reality, to gather my broken self. I was not able to clear Civil Service Examination Mains 2012. But I know it for sure that this time success will follow. How? Read on.

For the first time I was to read The Hindu on 6th June 2009. My mom stayed with me for a while because she was extremely worried for me having seen the kind of place and atmosphere I was to live in for next few years. During her stay with me for 2 months I realised that she was a very strong person (all moms are very strong- is not it?) and I was weaker than her. When I arrived in Delhi I came there not just to clear this exam but to clear with extraordinary success which to me was nothing less than having Rank-1. Everyone told me at that time its all destiny. I was determined to succeed.

Preliminary and Mains exam passed like the seasons of Delhi. Saving myself with my books from the Scorching heat in summers followed by me running across water logged roads during rainy season to attend the coaching classes. My next door neighbour had already appeared in preliminary exam of Civil Service Exam twice and a few times in Judiciary Preliminary exam. He was very proud of the fact that he wrote so many preliminary exams! I remember that how on the same very night he was drunk with some girl in the room and in the middle of night the girl left the house using such abuses which were unheard of.

Everyone in Mukherjee Nagar and Old Rajendra Nagar, New Delhi was happy with me. Milk shop, Coaching institutes, newspaper bhaiyya, landlord, washer-man etc. Only person who was not happy, it seemed to me, in Delhi was me. Everyone wanted money and more money. With turn of every season my misery grew harsher. Everyone told me that I have failed because of luck. I worked harder and harder before every exam and after every exam my prayers grew stronger. I became fatelist, somewhat like followers of Ajivikas (you remember Barabara? and Mokkhali Gosala?).

Failure in mains 2012 exam jolted me from inside. My friend with whom I studied got the call for interview. I am not at all jealous, but question that has been troubling me is why me?! I was also happy that my friend has succeeded and that our way of working is right. My real self likes to fight. This time something strange happened. I was finding it difficult to call it fate as I felt that I was running away from some un-discoverable latent mistake that I must have done. I am calling it un-discoverable because so far I have not been able to determine the cause of earlier failure. But now I do not want to blame God or anyone else for what I have done. I am back to square one. A non-fatelist.

But there are few differences. This time I have more belief in myself than God. I refuse to call it a fact that all is determined by luck and destiny, though I still believe in God. I will not pray this time for success for my relation with God is not of give and take. I will just study this time. Fight every hour and study every second. I will struggle to study more everyday. I will study till I fall. And get up every time to study again till I fall.

For this time target is not just clear the exam but to prove that luck is/was 'destined' to loose and impeccable hard-work is 'destined' to succeed. 

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The Lucky phase of life

I started studying again after coming back from Dharamshala. I was excited because this time the next stage will be facing interview board. These interviews are not ordinary interviews and perhaps that is why they call them Personality tests rather than interviews. The questions there can come from any where in the world.

Meanwhile before the call for interview  I cleared one state level examination, which was stayed by High Court of the State for few people filed the writ on the basis that the exam had many wrong answers in it, to which even i agree because even though I was above the cut-off mark my score was not upto my expectation.

I was very happy because some success was coming. There was a very minute apprehension that I just might not be able to clear the Mains written exam stage. So I started studying again for the next mains exam. Then i studied for the next prelim exam again because I was not sure if  would clear interview or not.

I waited for the result. 15th Feb was the result date announced by most of people and I was sure that the result would come but alas it didn't and the kind of noise that one hears in a stadium when the forward player just misses the goal by a snick of the goalkeeper was all around my ears.

Then the wait for the result was leading to desperation. It was final that the result would come on 22nd feb 2013. No studies since morning. Desperation at its peak. I played Lara Croft on my laptop for 15 minutes. Went to pee every half an hour. I was extremely excited for the result to come. I was ready to go to UPSC office to give interview. I was already thinking of how will I speak there, and how will I dress up and brushing up myself with new current affairs around the world whether it be the Spring in the Arab world or the Syrian crisis or the brutal rape in the capital of India and endless other topics.

Times ticks ahead, result does not come. 6 o clock i quit checking the result. I was in a way happy, because the number 4 has not been lucky for me so far and date 22 (2+2=4) was leading to that number only. But as the luck would have it at 7:03 PM (approximate time) the result is announced. My phone rings up that may be result is out.

I am trembling now. My fingers are unable to type. Sweat over forehead. My heart is pumping very hard. I open the site and search with Control+F my roll number. That sound of ting is very loud through the speakers. This sound tears away every cell in the body. This sound comes when search option is not able to find anything and in this case my roll number in the list of successful candidates.

I am broken badly for few seconds. I scream on a friend to stop asking me to check the result again as i myself did that atleast 5 times.

Calls started dropping in. Dad comes and hugs me. Even he has got tears, which does not happen normally. Mom is very sad. I gather courage and talk to them. We talk about Lord Rama(God in Hindu religion), Rani Jhansi(Freedom Fighter), Mahtama Gandhi(Father of nation of India), Abraham Lincoln(Ex-President of US), Atal Beehari Vajpayee(One of PM's of India), Abhinav Bindra(An Indian Olympic gold medalist) - that how they all suffered much more and thus reached the greatest of heights - they all are more successful than me - they all belonged to ages younger and older than me.

I called up few of my teachers, and they all expressed sorrowfulness on me not clearing the exam, because they all thought that I was a good student. They all asked me to continue studying harder, because they still believed that I have it in me to make it through the exams.

I might have failed in eyes of few, but I learnt one lesson from history that greater the pain the sweeter the success. I am thankful to God to give me one more chance to dive into the ocean of knowledge. I consider myself lucky enough to have gone through this pain because the more it pains the more jubilate I will come out. The ones who got selected call them self the lucky ones, I don't argue if they are or they are not, but surely I am the luckiest one.

I want to tell all naysayers to stay away. Don't tell me to quit, because if you do I am not going to listen to you. I am ready to fight the final round. Its a knock-out round now. This time nothing can stop. I will give away everything I have to succeed this time.

One of my well wishers mailed me this link and it does make sense to me. The speaker is Les Brown.

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CSE Mains Exam 2012 and the break

Well i went through an amazing experience and its called as writing the Civil Service Mains Examination. I really wonder how sweet the result would be if i clear the exam because the very process of writing the exam was awarding.

I went for a small break to Dharamshala. Went their for a meditation camp and ended up doing trekking and meeting local people and becoming friends with few officials at the highest temple for people following Buddhism. I trekked to Triund with two girls one of whom was from Germany and one from Israel. It was really interesting to have the conversation with them. Israel it seems is somewhere like India herself. I went to  Dharamsala International Film Festival

Back home and i am struggling with few relationships -Almost everyone has got a complaint as i haven't been able to give much time to anyone.

Nevertheless 22 days after the exams ended i am back to studies from this moment. Punjab PCS exam awaits me and i am not very keen on giving it. Its just not the vehicle to take me to the zenith that I dream of.

Till next write up enjoy the pics i took in Triund and around.

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One day i will succeed - i have failed so terribly in my exams - but for sure this isn't the final result - I have won over my emotions to this day - i don't have tears left to shed - i don't have smiles left inside me - i don't feel pain - i just have one weakness left - food - will win over it very soon too - i will be an IAS with rank 1 sooner than later

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well this i am writing when my exams are still on . .. exams are still gonna be one for next one month for me, thanks to panchayat elections to be held here in Punjab and also thanks to Punjabi university, the university says that they are not going to take out my re valuation result before i give my re appear exam!!!
Now only god can make them understand that whats the use of this re valuation!!! and that too after everyone (almost) i talked to said they will try their best!
duhhh!!! what a try it has been!

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I am trying to study really hard this time for my exams and wanna clear them all in just one go . .. i know I hold the recored for clearing max exams in re valuation . . but then whats the use of it . . . . i dont want to improve my record any further . .. Second there is a big tension on the mind about what to do next in life after my law is over . . i am clear with what i want to achieve in life intially . . i mean in next few months . . . in next few years, say 20-25 years . .. . once i achieve that i dont know what next after that . . . thats still a mystery . . . for that sake thats still a mystery for most of the peopleof any age .. . even a mystery for the people who came here on the planet and have gone back . . . .i got so many options about my career which i guess i will be writing about later on . . .b4 i put on next entry let me study and clear all my exams

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